We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
