i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
