So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
soo... how was my night?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
