No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
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