I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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