i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
