We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
should my penis look like a turkey
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
