the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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