john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
