Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wish i was in the wii world.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
