The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
