You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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