Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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