I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize