She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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