Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
