he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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