Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize