wrigley field is MILF paradise
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
