where am i from again
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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