This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
