My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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