He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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