it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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