Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
