Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
