Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
