Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
