checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
