She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
