every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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