Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
