You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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