I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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