just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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