yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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