Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
this just has baby written all over it
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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