plz talk dirty to me
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
