I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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