and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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