around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
