You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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