last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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