I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
