I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
