Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
4 words: hood of his car
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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