Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Houston, we have a blender
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
