She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
