Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
