Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
