ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
