it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
