HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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