I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
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He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
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Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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